Don’t invite me over for the Holidays

I’m probably the worst cook in the world. Every cake I’ve made has turned out into a pile of burnt crumbles and goopy, undercooked batter, and I’ve even managed to burn noodles. I must be adopted or something, because i have a long family history of bakers– we own 5 donut shops/bakeries, yet i can’t even make decent macaroni and cheese. Thanksgiving is next week, and Chronsgiving (my student newspaper’s thanksgiving party) is Tuesday. I’m in charge of bringing the mashed potatoes, and i’m going to bring some from bob evans, but i’m going to making some. Homemade. Hopefully everyone doesn’t start projectile vomiting all over the decorative candles.

Words of wisdom: don’t eat anything I’ve made unless you want your stomach pumped

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